Brand new page?

Well, tomorrow I will be undergoing to surgery.

I have waited two long years for this, so I hope it will be the turn of the page of this book named "Life".


I will get my thyroid removed which is the main reason of my weight problem!


I am pretty calm today, and I have a very special token from a friend that I am sure will be my guardian!


So, wish me luck!

Oyasumi and Blessed be

I really love this song and hope to get this single as a "Get better" present xDD:

New year... New Horizons!!

Ella, Dj Khimaira and me @ Covill Bar, Almada

Greetings earthlings!

I hope everyone had great holydays! It's been more than a month I don't post here, it's really becoming a bad habbit. 


So, how was everyone's Christmas? 
Well, I can't say mine was bad, but I think it was the worse ever. This year I didn't felt the festive spirit at all and it was the first time I did not spend it with my family which makes a huge difference. I was in Porto celebrating it with the "in-laws" and got really good presents!
Got plenty of books which made me happy. I am always reading something and I am not capable of living without having a book by my side, I am quite the "bookworm"!!
About New Year's Eve it was one of the funniest!! We partied at my place, Visual Jam staff and Isis, was a blast!! They got to sleep over for two nights which was amazingly funny!!


Well, I am going to talk about year 2010!


The year 2010 was a bliss next to 2009, because we got so much more stable and sure of what we really want to do. Year 2009 best part was Japan, only. Lots of conflicts and things I do wish didn't happened, but it did, and we do not possess the hability to turn back time, so, we just have to accept and live with it. 2010 was so much more smooth, we did amazing things that we never thought we could and had the chance to meet excelent new people!

Here are the 2010 highlights:

• Visual Jam evolved a lot since it's creation, around December 18th 2009, making a total of 5 events this year! I guess we are the first doing something like this in one year, once again, I really want to thank portuguese Visual kei fans for the support, without you, it wouldn't be possible! 
• First Visual kei concert in Portugal, held by el-Ethnic Legist- on September 11th at Santiago Alquimista, Lisbon. The atmosphere was magical, the fans were the best public ever and the show was amazing! Thank you eveyone!
• The appearence Kiaiku made as guest artist for el-Ethnic Legist- made me really proud of him as an artist and guitarist. He did a terrific job, beyond words!
• Meeting Khimaira, who is a fascinating person, became one of my best friends. Thank you for the priceless moments we spent together and for your sincere support and friendship!!
• Becoming even closer to the people that I love the most and know they are always there for me. Without them, I couldn't make it. It's being too rough, I would have sunk, but you were always my safety boat... I have no words to express my gratitude and love for you guys... United forever, as one!
• First DJ Khimaira debut performance in Portugal. The party was a blast, we are working so the public can have more parties like that.

Wishes for 2011:

• Keep Visual Jam rocking as hard as possible!
• Debuting more Visual kei bands in Portugal.
• Find some shitty job to procceed to the next step of my life.
• Stay close to the people I love the most, strong.
• Have a safe surgery and recover fast!
• Lose some weight after surgery and with the right medication.
• Write a little more, short stories and stuff, I am always underestimating myself, but I guess I should at least give it a try!
• Do a new tattoo, my blue star.
• Pierce my lip. (Snake bites!!)
• Some more secretive plans, but it will be known!

So, I guess this is everything about the holidays and wishes.

We have been watching all Rocky's saga, and I found the films rather inspiring. Made me wish my fate would be just like Rocky Balboa: Fight, and go from the bottom to the top!!

Today I was told the zodiac signs would change, for there is one more sign to add, which would make every sign dates different. What do you think about that subject? 

Do you believe in astrology?

Finally, my new year's wish for you all:

May the gods be with you and guide everyone to a safe and successful path! 

Wind of Change?

Here I am, back to my almost abandoned blog. 
After two months and five days without posting here I am, with some questions and thoughts I would love to share with all my readers!


But first of all, I would like to thank everyone who were there in the Visual Jam Halloween party! It was so so crowded! I have no words to thank you guys for the support, and I hope to see you all again on Visual Jam's First Birthday Ceremony, on the 17th, with a very special guest deejaying, DJ Khimaira @ Covil Bar.

Here is the flyer, I think it is very lovely:

Well, moving to what really moved to make this post, I really need a "wind of change". Well, I guess the whole world needs it. I don't mean to be offensive, but, in my point of view, society is getting rotten. I worry about young people mostly. I see no respect what so ever for other people (so much for respecting elderly people, that one is already a mith). I see hatred, people stabbing on each other backs, stepping on the feet of everyone to reach something they want without getting there first. 

What is wrong with humanity?

I know humans were always selfish and greedy... But this? This is beyond unthinkable!
To hear young people wishing someone else they don't even know was dead, disrespecting anyone who just gave an opinion, being aggressive and insult over nothing... It leaves me mesmerized, in the worst way possbile.


I've studied from 5th to 12th grades in troublesome schools, the kind of school some people often could call "ghetto school". It was pretty rough, specially when I was younger, but I understood it doesn't matter status, "race" or rich or poor. Most of people there were not rich at all, they had troublesome lifes in home and of course, at school too. But guess what? They were much nicer, more polite and sincere than most youngsters I see babbling on Facebook now a days. Back then people had values, now a days it seems to be vanished. 


I really cannot point the finger to anyone, I just think technology messed really bad with people's head. Most young people don't care for anything besides their computer with speedy internet connection. Don't get me wrong, I am no technophobic or something, I do appreciate the world of internets and pcs, but my life is much more than that. I do NOT hide behing a computer screen trolling and mocking every living soul I see on a social network. That is so WRONG people. I think those people really have self-esteem problems, they just don't accept themselves as they are, and they jump trolling other people for making up their flaws. It does NOT work. A person who has values, believes in her/himself will not pay any attention to it, as you do. My point here is not to attack anyone, just to express my pity for those kind of people and sincerely hope they grow, hope they get some values and love anything with their heart, not just because it is cool or because their friends do.


Another alarming sign that this society is falling to pieces is the obsession about "looking good". It's not just you thinking you look good. You have really straight patterns now a days to define beauty. 21st Century beauty is what you see on lingerie catalogues. 21st Century beauty are the men and women you see in billboards advertising for some fashion brand. 21st Century beauty is Photoshop. It's enough to open some women targeted magazine you have pages and pages about dissing celebrities, in order to make "ordinary" women feel guilty, like: "She lost a lot of weight and has the perfect waist now", "She just had a baby and is so fit" or "She gained a lot of weight, she really needs to visit the gym". In my head I just think: "What the hell?!" My point of view on this subject: I think if someone really wants to fit the pattern of society and diets and exercises to death is their business, if they feel good and beautiful/handsome doing so, it's really okay. But those people who are not the perfect role model and do not intend to be (like me) please, just leave us alone. Sentences like "Oh you got fatter", "You should really lose some weight" or "You are way more than chubby, fat is not beautiful" are not helpfull, or good intentioned or happily taken! So if you have something like that to say, just say to yourself, in front of your mirror, in your home. PLEASE DO NOT BOTHER OTHER PEOPLE THAT JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN.
Well I feel good about myself. Yes, I am more than chubby. I am what you consider a fat girl. So what? 
Tipic trolling on street, social network, etc:
"You are fat!!" 
"Yes I am. So what?"
"You look huge!" 
"Yes, I am fat, you wanted me to look thin?"
Do you think it lowers my self esteem any tiny bit? Oh you are so wrong. This is what a confident person looks like. It does not take me down, I see my own beauty, if you don't see it, oh, too bad, but I am not spending the night crying over it, sorry. 
Concluding this, you calling me fat is the exact same thing you saying to me that the sky is blue. It's simply a fact!


The last thing I am going to talk about tonight, the third sign I see about the self desctruction of mankind is the "agnostic" point of view. Most people no longer believe in anything. It's scary to me, because I always had a faith, always been told that when everything is dark, hope and faith will, eventually get us out of there. I am pagan for seven years now, but this faith always was such an important part of myself. 
The thing I mostly search for it's not happiness. It's Balance. Because, without a balanced life and values, I believe no one reaches happiness. Because balance is the strong base for being happy. I cannot consider myself a fortunate person, lately things are not going well at all for me, which makes me feel really sad and depressed and think about what's wrong with me, and what is wrong with humanity. Because the way things are built now a days, it is suffocating, ripping us off of any possibility reaching happiness. But I will not let myself be down, I will go up and on my way searching for the perfect balance for my life, and my friends will always be there, so I am really thankful to the gods!

What do you think on this subject?

Would love to read your opinion on this!

Oyasumi and Blessed Be!

Masquerade of the Dead: An Halloween Reverie

Greetings!

Came here to announce next Visual Jam event!

Masquerade of the Dead: An Halloween Reverie, it will take place on the 31st October (obviously), which is a Sunday. It's okay, Monday is an holyday, so you can rest if you drink too much or stay up late!! xD

So, there will be a few surprises, I hope you will like it!

With DJ/VJ Kiaiku, as usual!

This will be a short post, for I have a few things to do, and cannot linger...

And this is how I feel...

Enough said...

Mata ne and Blessed Be!

Dreamland for a While

Greetings Earthlings!

Even though life mostly of times is to harsh on us, this time it seems things are getting smother and easier, at least from my point of view! It seems that, for once in my life things are not being too difficult. I do not know why I always feel life is too hard on me... Perhaps it's just me, I never have seen myself as a spoiled girl or anything, despite being an only child. Just sometimes I wish I was a bit luckier, but this time yes, I can consider myself a lucky person. All our plans are going fine, and going to happen with our own effort and tears, we will not just pretend we make things happen. We REALLY make things happen.


To be surrounded of such wonderful people, such wonderful friends. It is impossible to ask for more, even in the most dredful situation we can pull it out together.
Thank you guys for being more than friends, for creating a bond stronger than blood. Love you! <3

Subject #1

Male. Species found 7 years ago, October 2003. At first very shy, nervous and quiet, but, while being fed and took care of, starts speaking and smiling. 6 Years later he, along with other 5 subjects started the greatest organization of all times, named Visual Jam, and gave us the means to make the magic happen!! 7 Years later is a pain in the ass because he is never ever quiet! Subject number one is like my older brother and the best friend anyone can have! Love you!

Subject #2

Female. Species found 7 years ago, around December 2003. At first warrior pose, but while interacting is very talkative. So much talkative and loud. 6 Years later, she, along with other 5 subjects started the greatest organization of all times, named Visual Jam, and borrowed us the magic of words! 7 Years later she is more than a sister, more than a friend, more than anything that could ever be described by words, she is so precious! Love you!

Subject #3

Male. Species found 3 years ago, around September 2007. At first very closed and quiet, but while intimate very joyfull and playful. Subject has great talent in music area, plays piano, guitar and sings wonderfully. 2 Years later, he along with other 5 subjects started the greatest organization of all times, named Visual Jam, and gave us the knowledge and strenght necessary to make the magic happen! 3 Years later he is my more than anything, more than a friend, more than the single word Love can ever mean. He's my saviour angel! Love you!

Subject #4

Female. Species found 22 years ago, around November 1988. At first very playful and cheerful. Subject turned out to be very clever in the pshycology field. 21 years later entered the greatest organization of all times, named Visual Jam and gave us her beautiful taste to make up magic images! 22 years later she is the one that has always been around, my blood sister! Love you!

Subject #5

Female. This subject was the one that gave birth to me. Has been around for a while and always there to back me up from everything. I am deeply grateful to Subject #5 because she helped to make the person I am now. Dangerously funny and ironic, if you don't want to laugh hard, please don't come near Subject #5! She is the person who will make you have the funniest time of your life with Epic phrases. Yeah, "aqui há broche"... Can you guess? "Já me tinhas era tell me!". Love you! 

Can anyone guess which subject corresponds to a Visual Jam staff member? 

Love you all with my heart!!!

Visual Jam has more surprises in the sleeve, please, stay tunned for more beautiful news very, very soon! Thank you everyone who has been around and worked for this becoming reality! I will leave you a beautiful song that really has touched me and reminds me of someone special!!

Mata ne and Blessed Be!

凛 RIN - As if Forever Exists

凛 Rin - As If Forever Exists

The prince with marvellous eyebrows will soon arrive on a dark beautiful horse! (^_~)

Little Piece of Heaven

11th September, Saturday.

This is my point of view of days 11th and 12th of September 2010.

I woke up early in the morning, haven't slept almost anything at all. I was nervous as hell because it was one of the more important days of my life. The dream had came true: Visual Jam would bring the first Visual kei band to our small country. Visual Jam is a project that had high costs since it was born, December 2009. We have worked with all our hearts and souls, against all odds. It was harder than I ever thought, but nobody said it would be easy.

We all got ready to head to Lisbon, in order not to be late, I guess it was the longest trip to Lisbon I've ever made. I was scared to death that things would not go according to our plan.

Well, it did not went 100% according to planned but we managed to make everything go right!

We arrived to the airport and waited for a very long (for me at least) one hour and thirty minutes aprox., and asked for informations why the band was taking so long to get out, the responsible there told us that there was no chance someone of that flight could still be inside, for everyone else had left, that sentence sent me to a short living hell. Every sort of disaster crossed my mind. But after a blessed phone call we could rest a bit, it was a problem with the special luggage, was a really bad event but at least they were okay and arrived safely to Portugal.

We met the guys, Mori and Lauriane, and I loved them all in that very instant! Just felt they were really good people and really deserved to be treated very very well! 

They went in the truck with two members of Visual Jam, Ella and Kiaiku, and me and BaRu,, got lost in the way from the airport to the venue, it was terrible hot but finally we could manage to arrive there, even with the car dripping a lot of gasoline! (x_x)

The majority of the people who attended the concert were already waiting outside the venue, felt really great to see all those familiar and friendly faces there, to support us, almost six years hours before the start of the show, I deeply want to thank you, beside being friends you are such spectacular fans!

When me and Ella went to Karuniiru's/Visual Jam's backstage we realized it was hot as hell. We could barely breathe there, because sunlight directly aimed the place. After making sure the guys had everything arranged in their backstage, it was time to start doing Karuniiru's make up! It was really painful for me and Ella because of the heat! We still got to assist a bit of el-Ethnic Legist- sound check, it was so amazing!! 

When I got back to the upper backstage again, the hours did fly! After doing make up to Karuniiru with Ella's help, I had to do the make up to Kiaiku. Unfortunatly I just got to see the last two songs Karuniiru played and saw that we were expecting more that the people that were in the room, later I knew that 66 people attended the show excluding organization and invitations which was a very good number by the manager's opinion. I want to thank the people who attended the show so much, you made the FIRST Visual kei band concert in Portugal possible! 

el-Ethnic Legist-'s concert was amazing, one of the best concerts I've ever attended, along with Versailles. If I could I would do anything for the band to grow and become a big band, in Japan and Europe! They are as great as a japanese major label band!

I was so happy when I saw Kiaiku on stage with the band, one of his dreams finally came true, and I shed some tears. It was extremely emotional. I loved the fans feedback about the band and Kiaiku, the true fans were really so so kind! I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

The rest of the night was as funny as it could get, loved to talk to the guys, the manager Mori and Lauriane, really good people!

We had a really nice traditional birthday cake with the picture of the band, that they loved.

We sang "happy birthday" to the band, and we did it in Portuguese! We gave them the presents of the winners of Visual Jam free ticket contest, and they absolutely loved it!

Thank you so much for having put your effort and will to do such beautiful art works!

For the next day, I won't write all the details because is personal!

I just have to thank all the guys for giving me a little piece of heaven for two days, because life is really hard here, and you just made us forget what it was like!

I have to personally thank Mr. Mori, really loved to talk with you, and I would love to keep in touch!

Next time we will get more familiar Shin, and drink 3 coffees a day!! (^-^)/

See you soon!

LOVE YOU GUYS, YOU MADE THIS UNFORGETABLE! 

ありがとうございましたエスレジ！

Mata ne and Blessed Be!

Está quase!

CONCERTO DE EL-ETHNIC LEGIST- DIA 11 DE SETEMBRO

SANTIAGO ALQUIMISTA LISBOA

BANDA DE ABERTURA: KARUNIIRU

BILHETE: 26 Anubis 

Boa noite a todos!

Sei que tenho falhado no mundo da blogosfera, porém os assuntos da "vida real" não me têm deixado tempo para fazer uma entrada "à la Maeve", como bem gosto de fazer.
Esta será, infelizmente, uma entrada rápida como todas as últimas.

Sobre a Visual Jam...

Já estamos em Setembro... e o tempo passou por nós a voar. A última vez que me dei conta do quão nós evoluímos tanto como equipa e como grupo foi em meados de Fevereiro, quando o concerto de el-Ethnic Legist- começou a ser planeado. Trabalhámos muito arduamente e "apertamos o cinto" ainda mais, numa altura em que a esperança de arranjar um emprego é equivalente a achar um oásis no meio de um deserto escaldante, nasceu a audácia de tentarmos trazer a primeira banda Visual kei a terras lusas. Ideia ao início um tanto ou quanto fora de série, um pouco nas nuvens. Rimos da ideia. Claro que nunca conseguiríamos. Porém o destino disse que não iria ser assim. O destino tinha outra coisa totalmente reservada para nós, e aqui está. Por vezes, nos meus sentimentos mais profundos não deixo de sentir uma dualidade, será difícil envergarmos os trajes de promotores profissionais, porém por outro lado, a música é o que mais amo, e isto é TUDO o que sempre quis fazer, e é o que vou lutar ao lado dos meus parceiros para obtermos. A vida é feita de dualidades, têm de haver balanço e equilíbrio, e isso é sinceramente, o mais importante. Às vezes sou fraca. Outras sou forte. Umas vezes sou calma, às vezes barafusto, grito e esperneio à mínima coisa, e outras vezes choro ou rio-me às gargalhadas ("Nós somos pobres mas rimo-nos muito", ne?) mas sabem que mais? Nunca, jamais em tempo algum me arrependo deste caminho que tomamos juntos. Nunca, jamais penso em abandonar isto tudo, pois isto é a minha vida e o que me é mais querido. 
Obrigada do fundo do coração aos restantes membros da Visual Jam que se mantiveram unidos, obrigada também às pessoas que nos apoiaram desde do início e que marcarão a sua preciosa presença este Sábado, pois isso é que é realmente ajudar, isso é que é realmente o chamado "amor à camisola" e é com isto mesmo que a Visual Jam se move e é por isso que existe.


Espero sinceramente ver todos os amantes ou simpatizantes do Visual kei juntos este 11 de Setembro, pois garanto-vos que será uma noite mágica, que nunca irão esquecer... Nós certamente também não.

Sobre o mês de Agosto e início de mês de Setembro:

Agosto é sempre um mês entusiasta para mim, pois dia 18 é quando faço anos. Este ano não celebrámos mesmo "à grande" como adoro fazer mas infelizmente já não o faço há dois anos, passei o dia de anos com a família e amigos mais próximos (a.k.a. Visual Jam Staff) e Sábado fomos até ao bar "Chapéu de Palha" na Costa da Caparica com aquele pessoal espectacular (Obrigada por tudo pessoal, a sério) onde a Ella deu um "show" brutal no karaoke e onde o Sephi cantou "Para Sempre" de Xutos e Pontapés para o Kiaiku, foi uma das coisas mais "priceless" e lindas que já vi! (Obrigada mesmo pela noite Sephi e Sami, vocês são uns amores <3).

No fim de Agosto o senhor Daniel Carvalho, conhecido por Beaver ou como para nós o eterno Baka, deu uma festa de anos que atingiu níveis de epicidade bastante elevados. Começou no Desassossego Bar, que é por acaso praticamente o começo de tudo na minha vida, juntou-se uma multidão e fomos terminar a festa de arromba na praia de Albarquel. Conversa animada entre meninas (Doumo Ella, Isis, Ana e Pikii) e com muito tabaco e Gold Strike à mistura, acabámos por ir todos ao banho, apesar de eu e da Ella termos sido as "last women standing"! Os únicos corajosos para nos acompanharem foram o Baka, o Sephi (claro, veio do mar ne? xD) e o Banzai. Só uma palavra: Épico.

Depois veio o Setembro, e com ele a "hora do aperto". Semana esta que nem deu para respirar, caixa de entrada do mail "atolada", muitas viagens de carro (acho que depois do concerto vou ficar alérgica à auto-estrada entre Setúbal e Lisboa) e muito "broche" pelo caminho. Porém hoje posso respirar, mas só um bocadinho. Só mesmo um bocadinho, pois já está tudo resolvido, agora apenas fica a ansiedade a corroer a minha alma...

Enfim, tenho a sensação que me estou a esquecer de algo importante, porém estou demasiado cansada e devo dirigir-me para o sítio de descanso mais próximo (a.k.a. cama) para descansar, amanhã é o ÚLTIMO dia antes do concerto e os ÚLTIMOS preparativos têm que ficar todos OKAY!!

Wish us luck!

E sobretudo...

Apareçam no dia 11 de Setembro, Sábado, pelo Santiago Alquimista em Lisboa!

Oyasumi!